I come to you with this question after having many recent discussions with a friend about her current boyfriend. He’s that new-agey type (ugh) who thinks he’s soooo spiritually enlightened. Vom. Anyway, the guy is a total downer. He doesn’t support my friend at all, and it is almost like his existence depends on telling her he’s her “teacher” (I’m not joking).
I’m telling her about this book she should read as an introduction to feminism and she tells me, “John would laugh at me so hard if I read a book on feminism.” uh oh. I asked her why and she goes into this clusterfuck about how John thinks men and women are essentially different, they’re not equal, “mother earth” didn’t make men and women to be equal, and all other kinds of bullshit.
This conversation left me flustered and wanting to tell my friends: don’t date people who don’t identify as feminists! I quickly came to realize that this is more complicated than it appears. I then wonder, how much is the act of identifying a feminist worth? To me, it appears to be a lot. Yet I can think of many reasons why people may falter to identify.
So I still wonder, and haven’t been able to answer this question, should we only date people who identify as feminists?